WarioWare's Woods
by Master Pencil
Summary: To reclaim what was once his long ago; Wario has used the wealth from WarioWare, Inc. to buy the Peaceful Woods as property for his company. Can Toad outfox Wario and his friends in puzzles to free the woods?


WarioWare's Woods

By Master Pencil

Chapter 1 Return of Wario

You can say that it was a typical day in Diamond City, home to the money-grubbing Wario. However, it was not a typical day at Wario's house, because as far as he was concerned, nothing about Wario was typical. On this day, Wario had an inkling to go outside. Wario had a small garden outside his house where he grew garlic plants. This was a stroke of genius to him because then he would not have to buy garlic from the store. It satisfied both his stomach and his wallet, a win-win scenario.

"Come here, you little uns'!" grumbled Wario delightfully to the inanimate vegetables protruding from the plants. "Daddy Wario's gonna make sure his nice choppers make your delicious juices reach down his throat!"

Storing the picked garlic in his bag, he waddled along the row of garlic plants until he accidentally tripped over something. He snorted with irritation and looked down to see what it was. It was a red and white toadstool mushroom. Wario growled, not pleased that a poisonous mushroom found its way into his garden. He plucked the mushroom and inspected it.

"Huh, toadstool," growled Wario. "Boy, does this bring back memories."

Wario was not thinking about Princess Peach Toadstool, but the other character who looked quite like a toadstool. He had a white head with red dots just like the mushroom Wario was holding, but he was a living, breathing character. He was Toad, and Wario was not fond of him.

"Lousy Toad!" griped Wario, throwing the mushroom out into the backyard. "If it wasn't for that loser, I would've had a _much _bigger garden!"

He still had some more garlic to pick, but he continued to dwell on the Mushroom Kingdom servant. It had been a while since Wario was in the Mushroom Kingdom, but it was more worthwhile to stay in Diamond City because of his more loyal friends and the technology. One thing that certainly gave him an advantage here was the use of internet.

When Wario was done, he went into his house and surfed the web on his laptop. He looked up the name of the peaceful woods that he used to run years ago. Sure enough, he found the locale on an online map of the Mushroom Kingdom.

"I wonder if anyone even lives there anymore?" he said as if the walls of his house would answer.

Now the memories began to flood back, and they sure put him in a tizzy. Now Wario wanted to have some signs of the times, but how? Wario scanned the information page of Toad's Woods and found a phone number with a peculiar name next to it.

"Katsini?" blurted out Wario. "That sounds familiar for some reason."

He used his cell phone to call the person, and miles upon miles away in the Mushroom Kingdom in a dark office, a well-dressed bat with a hat and cane answered his.

"Hello, this is Katsini," answered the bat. "How may I help you?"

"Hey, this is Wario," replied Wario, causing Katsini to jump on the other line. "I just saw that the Peaceful Woods are still around."

"Wario, it's been so long!" exclaimed Katsini. "Yes, the Peaceful Woods still exist. It's been like that for the past seventeen years."

"Well, has that Toad done much of anything with it?" asked Wario. "Knowing him, he probably only lounges around with Princess Peach!"

Then Wario got an idea that was so dastardly and sly that Wario grinned like a clown and crossed his eyes when it came to him. There was a pause, and Katsini thought that Wario was about to hang up until he gathered his bearings.

"Hey, Katsini, you own the land around those woods?" asked Wario.

"Why, yes, I've been the real estate manager around here for quite a while," said Katsini.

"How about I buy the woods since Toad isn't doing a thing there?" replied Wario.

"I'm not sure, Wario, I'd have to get Toad's permission," mumbled Katsini a little uneasily.

"Nah, Toad won't care, he lives at Peach's Castle remember?" snapped Wario. "I forgot to tell you that I run a company now."

Katsini thought Wario was bluffing, but if Wario got such a sudden idea to purchase the entire Peaceful Woods, it would be best to learn what sort of business Wario could possibly run.

"What kind of company, may I ask?" asked Katsini politely.

"WarioWare, Inc. is the name," crowed Wario proudly. "I've made mega bucks making games from the studio, and the wealth ought to cover buying up that land! Toad can only run a business in his dreams, so I'll give you an offer. If you give me the woods, I'll give you plenty of dough to spend to your heart's desire."

"Very well," said Katsini. "I may only ask of you now to go tell your employees about this big deal and have their say."

"Done," mumbled Wario, and they hung up.

…

Wario called for a special meeting at WarioWare, Inc later that day with mandatory attendance for all employees. Everyone from Wario's sweetheart Mona, taxi cabbies Dribble and Spitz, young ninja girls Kat and Ana, and Nintendo fanboys 9-Volt and 18-Volt arrived at the large meeting room that looked and felt like a government chamber with all the tables stacked up in rows with high chairs. A large W was on the wall with a fancy chair where Wario would come and sit to discuss what will be happening. The large group milled around and chatted until Wario came walking into the room and a large hush hung over.

"I've got a big announcement!" said Wario. "Because of all the wealth that I- I mean _we _have built up over the years, I thought it'd only be fitting if we had a nice, relaxing place to go to!"

"A vacation?" said Mona. "Wow, I'd sure like to have that!"

"Well, yeah, it's like a vacation," mumbled Wario. "But this isn't just some temporary vacation! This is gonna be a place where we own it!"

"Brillance!" exclaimed Dr. Crygor, a scienstist and an influential member of WarioWare. "A vacation home would be much appreciated!"

"Yeah, well, this isn't just a vacation home," replied Wario, getting a little irked by the interruptions. "This place is a big place with trees, rivers, trails, and picnics!"

This description of the place where Wario would possibly make a vacation spot for the employees received their undivided attention. Wario, not exactly known for his oratory skills, felt like he had a new sense of command of the chamber, and why should he not with his status as President of WarioWare? He could tell from the eager eyes of his friends that he had them under control, and Wario used it to his advantage by telling a fabricated story.

"You see, there are some woods in the Mushroom Kingdom," said Wario. "They're big and beautiful woods, and yours truly owned them. That's right, pals, I ran the woods. And I ran that place with dignity and respect. However, that was sadly not the case before long. An evil mushroom man invaded my lovely woods. He was an absolute monster and a jerk! He destroyed my awesome castle and ran me out of my woods! Thankfully, his reign of evil was numbered, and I rose up against the toadstool menace and defeated him in an epic puzzle game! The woods have been peaceful ever since, but lately I decided to think of how nice it would be for us to relax and enjoy those very same woods. So, what do ya think?"

The employees cheered heartily for Wario. The president only chuckled and scratched his head, not believing how these guys fell for him easily.

"Wario's always one step ahead of cool!" exclaimed Mona. "Oh, my cute Wario, you couldn't have made my day better!"

One of the employees, a Nintendo fan by the name of 9-Volt, suddenly stopped cheering and began to think to himself. He closed his eyes and seemed to be recalling some kind of memory. Then he woke back up and jumped to his feet with a look of surprise on his face below the helmet visor.

"Hey, this story sounds familiar!" yelled 9-Volt.

Everyone stared at 9-Volt, and the boy felt embarrassed. Wario was looking over at him like a prosecutor in a court room. How could he have forgotten about the Nintendo fanboy who had played just about every Nintendo game ever made, including _Wario's Woods _for the NES and SNES? Wario had to think of something, and fast.

"Oh, yeah, just how so?" snapped Wario

"Well, there was a certain video game named _Wario's Woods _and it had a story somewhat like that," said 9-Volt uneasily. "However-"

He did not get to continue, because 18-Volt stopped him by pulling 9-Volt's helmet over his face, effectively covering his mouth. He too felt that Wario's story sounded similar to the video game, but he feared that 9-Volt would unwittingly stall any chance of the two fans going to the Mushroom Kingdom, a dream both boys had for a long time.

"This is different," said 18-Volt. "Wario's probably talking about some other kind of woods."

"That's right!" exclaimed Wario cheerfully. "These woods are different, and we can still make cash in the Mushroom Kingdom as well. I do have some friends over there that I think you all will like. So this vacation spot won't just be that, but also our own park!"

Wario felt like there was little need for more explanation. Almost everyone was eager to go to these new woods and have their own park to work and play in.

"So who wants to go found the WarioWare Woods?" asked Wario to the employees. "Say "yeah" for yes and "nah" for no."

"Yeah!" boomed the employees.

"Good enough for me. We're going to the Mushroom Kingdom!" declared Wario.

The employees in the chamber became like a flock of seagulls, eagerly chattering to one another about the possibilities of the new park.

"We get to have our own nature park! Hooray!" cheered Kat.

"Now I get to pick all the flowers I want!" added Ana.

"9-Volt, are you ready to finally go to the kingdom of mushrooms and dreams?" asked 18-Volt to his young friend.

"Am I ready?" responded 9-Volt. "I've been ready since I could pick up a controller! You and I are gonna hang out with a Shy Guy, just you wait and see!"

The only one who did not seem to be too excited by the new park was the young witch Ashley. Not the most excited attendee in the first place, she had sat through the entire meeting with a straight face and calm sitting position. Her little, demonic companion, Red, had been waving his pitch fork around in anticipation.

"C'mon, Ashley, there's gotta be some ghouls there we can be in touch with!" assured Red to Ashley.

"Meh, it all sounds too girly and peaceful," muttered Ashley.

Wario continued to stare at his chattering friends, a sly grin stretched across his face. He searched his pocket and pulled out a small book about hypnosis, a power very few in Diamond City or the Mushroom Kingdom knew that he possessed. He looked again at his excited colleagues and grinned wider.

"Suckers," mumbled Wario under his breath. "I don't even need to hypnotize them to make them work for me."

…

Far from Diamond City in a corner of the Mushroom Kingdom nestled a large expanse of woods. Birds chirped and the leaves seemed to dance in the wind. These woods were simply called the Peaceful Woods, for not even the army of Bowser the Koopa King ventured this far in the Mushroom Kingdom wilderness. As a result, times were calm and restive here.

Below the tops of the trees, fairies fluttered around. One of them, a yellow-haired female with red clothes and hat with a small wand, rested on a branch and looked out at the tremendous view from where she sat. There was the color green as far as the eye could see, with only the blue, cylinder-like mountains with eyes standing in the background. It was a familiar sight, but this fairy never got tired of it, and the sight even changed with the passing of the day and into the night. The fairy sighed comfortably and lied down on the branch to rest.

Suddenly, a noise rose from the forest floor. The fairy bolted upright with alarm and looked around. It was a loud roar, fiercer than any beast in the woods. It was coming from the clearing in the woods just a few feet away. Quickly, the fairy fluttered away from her spot and desired to investigate this scary sound. It got louder the closer she came.

When she arrived at the clearing and looked down at the ground, the sight made her gasp. A yellow motorcycle sped through the trail of the small plain, transporting a squat man with a yellow helmet. His face was very familiar with the big, pink nose, lighting-shaped mustache, and fixed grin. Then it hit the fairy, this was Wario, her old foe.

"No way," muttered the fairy under her breath. "I haven't seen him in years."

To make matters worse, Wario was not alone. A tourist bus was following him on this trail, transporting all his colorful buddies. The fairy did not know this yet, but she saw the bus and Wario go deeper into the woods. She flew away to alert her own friends.

"Wario has returned!" cried the fairy.

At the sound of the old villain's name, the fairies almost panicked. It took the arrival of the female fairy to calm them down. A male one with a blue cap and brown hair approached her with concern.

"Is Wario really back, Wanda?" he asked her.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," replied Wanda, "but he looks different this time. I have a bad feeling he's more powerful now than ever."

"We better investigate this further," said the male fairy. "Lead me to him right now."

Wanda led the male fairy and five others across the forest to follow the bus and motorcycle. They flew around the trees and came to another clearing where Wario and his friends stopped. All the fairies gasped at Wario's new appearance as he dismounted from his motorcycle and stared around at the woods he used to control years ago and would do so again. The bus, which was driven by Dribble, opened its door, and the fairies witnessed every one of Wario's friends come out.

"What a strange bunch," remarked Wanda. "They make a stranger one than Wario's old group, and that's saying something."

"Speaking of the old group," muttered the male fairy leading his group, "what if he's going to bring them back together as well?"

"And his even scarier monsters?" added one of his friends, a plump fairy with a yellow cap.

The thought of an ultimate alliance made every one of the fairies shiver. That would be an incredible amount of minions at Wario's command and would only tighten his hold on the woods more. They continued to spy on Wario.

"Ah, the Peaceful Woods, now called WarioWare Woods!" mumbled Wario. "This place sure brings back the memories! Those were the glory days when I was a real threat to everybody and not some sorta "anti-hero" or whoever that's supposed to be."

The whole WarioWare crew stood behind their leader right now, looking around at the woods for the first time. Most of them looked at their surroundings eagerly, thinking of the possibilities in acquiring their newly-bought land.

"This is a great expanse of forested land," commented Dr. Crygor. "Where will our headquarters be, Wario?"

"Some old friends of mine will take care of that," replied Wario. "These are buddies of mine I had long before I even moved to Diamond City. In fact, here comes the bunch right now!"

Indeed, some figures were approaching the WarioWare crew right now. They were coming from deep in the woods, shadowy forms that only became clear when they stepped out into the clearing and the sun. First came Katisi, the well-dressed bat, and then a one-eyed monster, a multi-colored jester, a ghoul with a pumpkin head and overalls, a green parrot with a reptilian tail, a hairy creature with a horned helmet, and a white ghost with a red beret followed along. Even a mermaid came flopping through the field. After her came a blue, fish-like monster, a blue troll, a giant lizard, a young witch with green hair and blue eyes, an orange, hairy creature, a knight, an elf, and an anthropomorphic hare. The large group stunned the WarioWare crew in a good way, because they knew they had found some new friends.

"Welcome to your new woods, Wario," said Katsini. "I do hope you enjoy your stay."

"You bet I will!" exclaimed Wario. "With you all and my WarioWare employees at my side, these woods will be as good as secure. Now, how about you all meet and greet?"

After addressing his workers, the WarioWare crew enthusiastically mingled with the monsters of the woods. Hands were shaken, pats were taken on the back, and greetings filled the air. Wario and Katsini watched the mingling with delight while the fairies watched on with total fear. To the fairies, it was like leaders of two countries coming together to form an alliance against their own country.

"Hello, my name is Sarissa, lady witch of the woods," greeted the young witch to Ashley warmly. "I sense that you have magical powers of your own."

"So I do," replied Ashley indifferently. "Your powers probably aren't all that bad as well."

"No, they are not," replied Sarissa. "I like your attitude. It will serve our friendship well. You do want to be friends, right?"

"Sure," said Ashley. "At least Wario won't be the only one to get something out of these silly woods."

Mona chatted with the hare, taking delight in making a new friendship to help her fortunes in these new woods.

"Hi, I'm Mona!" greeted Mona to the hare. "You have a nice, blue suit."

"Why, thank you very much, pretty lady," replied the hare. "I do keep it tidy as you well imagine. Oh, and my name is Harry Hare by the way."

"Harry Hare? Ha, that's a good pun if you were actually hairy," remarked Mona. "I'm just trying to strike up this conversation, cutie, it actually sounds nice."

Many more greetings were being made, but Wario realized something. If his friends were going to settle down in the woods, it would be best if they knew a favorite past-time of the woods' residents.

"Oh, yeah, that's right!" yelled Wario to get everyone's attention. "How could I let my employees live here if they won't even play a favorite game here?"

"Yes, that's quite right," said Katsini. "WarioWare employees, if you want to live in these woods, then I highly recommend you learn how to play our puzzle game!"

Katsini went on to explain the puzzle game, which the woodland residents simply called _Wario's Woods_, and the basic rules of the game. The sound of the game intrigued all of the WarioWare crew members besides 9-Volt and 18-Volt, whom had already played the game before and were absolutely excited to play for real this time.

"Just so you have a good feel for this game, you are welcome to buddy up with a friend and practice together," continued Katsini. "I believe you'll find the game rather fun."

This was enough eavesdropping for the fairies, and they left to think of what else to do. Wanda had been thinking about all the events before, and came to the conclusion that only one could have the ability to save them again. Toad, the unlikely hero, would have to appear someday, and soon.

…

That night, when almost everyone was asleep in tents and crickets chirped, Wario snuck out of his own tent and went into the woods. He wandered for half of an hour before he found a cave at the base of a mountain that stood in the center of the woods. He entered the cave, using an old map that Katsini gave to him. Deep in this cave, stillness was in the air, and the faint sounds of water droplets popped off and on. It was like a maze in this cave, but Wario was a good explorer and soon found a large room where a stone door was on a wall.

Wario took a look at the map again, and this time flipped it around to its back, where a statement was written.

_At the center of the mountain is a stone door, and behind it is where the Sinister Six are imprisoned. This was the group of monsters that Wario used to help him in conquering the woods. The fairies locked them up when Wario was defeated. They devised a maze only Wario could navigate._

Wario chuckled, and then he opened the stone door with ease. Inside, a bundle of yellow, piercing eyes spotted him.

"Wahahaha! It's Wario to your rescue!" exclaimed Wario to his old, monstrous allies.

A dark shadow filled the chamber as the six monsters came out of their prison. They followed Wario out of the mountain and followed him to a point of the mountain where there was a panoramic view of the woods. Among these six were a winged demon with a pitchfork and a jester-like hat, a large pig carrying a fork and knife, a red mermaid with a crown, a golem who looked like a gorilla, a green dragon, and a robed skeleton. They watched Wario as he spread out his hands over the woods, and a curious thing happened. Wario's eyes became green and back and swirled with magic, and he began to chant.

"Obey Wario, master of your woods," muttered Wario ominously. "I've returned from Diamond City to be your master, and you will only serve me!"

He continued to chant, but his chanting became more mumbled and hard to hear, and then he stopped. He turned to the Sinister Six, whom were silently watching his hypnotic act.

"Go out and have some fun!" ordered Wario.

Delighted, the monsters invaded the woods, certain to stamp out any peace the woods still had. Now, Wario's control of the woods was complete.

…

The next morning, a toad took a walk along the border of the woods. Cheerful and upbeat, this toad was the same one who saved the woods years ago, and he was whistling as he went. He went past a sign, and he stopped after he went past it. Toad stopped whistling and backtracked to the sign. He read what the sign stated, and gasped loudly.

**THESE WOODS ARE PROPERTY OF WARIOWARE, INC. **

**DO NOT TRESSPASS**

The memories began to flood through Toad, and he came to only one conclusion; Wario had taken over the Peaceful Woods once again.

"Not again!" cried Toad.

He ran off in a hurry to alert someone, specifically a friend who joined him on his quest. He did not come back until later in the day at noon, when he returned to the woods with a pink dinosaur with a red bow, Birdo. Toad anxiously talked to her about what happened. She was not pleased about the news either, and she nervously listened to what Toad had to say.

"And Wario has to do it just when Princess Peach is out on vacation with Mario and Luigi to Isle Delfino! What are we gonna do?" exclaimed Toad.

"Who knows, Toad, but that Wario's just going to make a mess of things!" responded Birdo.

Wanda, who had been scouting the woods for any sign of Toad or his friend Birdo, now saw her chance. She frantically flew out of the woods and went to Toad and Birdo. At the sight of the fairy, both of the visitors jumped and appeared flustered as Wanda circled them.

"I've been waiting for you, Toad, and you too, Birdo!" said Wanda. "You've already seen the bad news, right?"

"Yep, Wario's done it again!" replied Toad. "You look kinda familiar."

"Oh, come on, Toad, if you remember your old adventure than you surely remember me," said Wanda. "I'm Wanda, the one who helped you with those puzzle games."

"Ah, yeah, that's right," said Toad. "Boy, I'm gonna have to learn to play those puzzles again. It's been so long."

They went to the mouth of the woods, readying their new adventure together. Someone else was spying on them, and it was not another ally. It was a black bird with a tied hairdo. He stared indignantly at the heroes as they approached the woods.

"Wario's not gonna like this bit of news," mumbled the black bird.

He flew back through the woods, into a canyon, and even around the mountain to get to Wario's place of residence. It was a business building run by Wario, a place that the Sinister Six had been building using their black magic as a representation of Wario's control of the woods. A large "W" was planted on it's top, and many windows lined its walls. At the top of this building was a large window which had an office behind it. It was this office that the black bird wanted to go in, and he pecked the window to get attention.

Wario, who had been sleeping in his office chair, was roused by the noise and turned around to see his little crony. Irritated, Wario opened the window to let the bird in.

"What is it, Pidgit?" grumbled Wario. "Didn't you see that I was taking a nice, little nap?"

"I've got bad news," replied Pidgit. "Toad has returned."

At the sound of the mushroom retainer's name, Wario growled like a dog and shook his fists. Everything was starting to fall into place now, and history seemed to want to repeat itself. Wario desired to make sure that he would not be defeated again.

"Somehow, I'm not surprised!" snarled Wario. "This might actually be fun, for me that is. I'm gonna make sure that loser stays just that, a loser! Pidgit, I'm gonna go alert my friends about this, and they'll run off Toad once they show off their puzzle skills. I bet Toad hasn't played _Wario's Woods _for so long that he'll lose on the first or second round!"

Wario picked up his phone and called each of his friends at once, alerting them of the "evil mushroom man" he had told them about and saying that he has returned to conquer their lovely woods. Each of the WarioWare crew members were assigned spots throughout the woods, from the entrance of the woods to the lobby of the WarioWare Wood's headquarters. Once Wario had determined their order, he left the office building, boarded his motorcycle, and drove off to search for his old rival.


End file.
